Call me a dreamer if you wish.  Call me unrealistic.  Say what you will about my aspirations, but by god, gentle readers, I have a dream.

I dream of licking my own pussy, and capturing the act on film.

You heard me right.

I’ve always been jealous of the guys who can self-suck.  Why should they be the only ones to have the fun?

Now, I’m certainly not the first woman to attempt such a thing.  There’s nothing new under the sun.  But I’ll be damned if I can find any photographic evidence of such an achievement on the internet.  And my Google-fu is pretty good.  (Readers, you’re allowed to correct me on this.)

I did find some really good fakes – very flexible women who are able to get their knees behind their heads, shot at a low angle that makes it look like their tongue is connecting with their pussy.  However, the flesh of their labia doesn’t move with the stroke of their tongue.  It’s a photographic trick.

Could it be that if I achieved autocunnilingus, and made a video of me performing it,  it would be an internet first?   Could it be the holy grail of internet porn?

It’s too tempting not to try.  I’m already quite flexible.  I have an extremely long tongue.  I bet with some regular stretching, I could manage to at least get the tip of my tongue on my clit.

And moreover, I’m going to achieve it in THIRTY DAYS.  Starting . . . now.  Seriously, I’m getting up to go stretch as soon as I push “publish” on this post.

Wish me luck.  Photos of my progress to follow.